Asset of the Month – Personal Power
To take charge, to be in charge, to have some control….we spend most of our lives trying to achieve some amount of power over our personal circumstances. As children, we dream of the day when we will make our own decisions, decide what & when to eat, what clothes to wear, and “The Biggie”—what time we’ll go to bed. Having some say over our lives is what makes us feel independent and human. Ask any person in a nursing home and you’ll understand how important Personal Power is in our lives.
Young children somehow figure out the “power game” at a very early age—ask any mother of a two year old. It’s just one more step in growing up. It’s important that this sense of having some control, some influence is nurtured and developed in a positive way. Here are some tips:
• Everyone likes to do things their own way, and children are no exception. Let them try, even if you know there’s a faster and better way. As long as there’s not a safety issue involved, it’s a good way to learn.
• Fighting over clothes usually isn’t worth it, unless there’s a formal occasion involved! Kids have their own ideas about what they like to wear. Sometimes a compromise works, and something as simple as limiting choices is the answer. Pick out two shirts and ask “Which do you want to wear today?” The main thing is to let them feel they have some say in the matter.
• Let children pick out what toys they want to play with. So what if Mary likes to push cars around on the carpet, while Jack plays with a pan and a spoon? Children play to please themselves—they don’t know what they’re supposed to like.
• Coloring is creative and fun—and a great time for choices. Skies don’t always have to be blue, and grass isn’t always green. Encourage children to do their own thing!
For the middle years to teen aged child:
• Personal power builds self esteem. Every child needs to know that they have some control on their own circumstances. Help your child set goals and achieve them.
• Problem solving is another way to have personal power. Brainstorming is a good way to point out that problems may have more than one solution. Help then decide which solution, or solutions, would be best.
• Self esteem also develops from team work. Service activities, assigned household chores—these all give children a sense of accomplishment and power.
• As your child develops personal power, make sure they realize that with this power also comes responsibility. Let them know you think they can handle it!
• It’s important that children also realize that there are some things in life cannot be controlled—even adults can’t change some things. It’s a hard life lesson to learn, but even trying to understand and accept this gives a sense of personal power.
To learn more about this asset and the other thirty nine, go to www.search-institute.org/content/40-developmental-assets
Written by Diane Rumer for Kenton County Alliance.
