For children of all ages, from pre-school through high school, here are some things you can do to make a good strong bond:

1. Encourage your child to have a sense of belonging.  Make the school “theirs”.  If you are able, purchase a special T-shirt, sweatshirt, or cap.  This gives your child a sense of belonging to something larger than just himself.  It also fosters a sense of pride.  Even wearing “civilian” clothing in school colors can make a child feel a part of the group.
2. Participate, with your child, in school sponsored service projects, such as food drives.  This teaches a child that even school is part of a larger picture, and the child, as part of the school, is also part of that picture.
3. Set a good example—GET INVOLVED!  Studies show that involved parents have involved children.  Join the PTA, be a “reader” during story time, work at the school carnival.  Make a commitment and your child will make one, too. Attend school functions–children need to see that their school is a high priority on your list too.
4. Listen to your children’s complaints. Try to identify the real problem, and work out a “three-way” solution—one that works for your child, the teacher, and you.
5. Help your child identify caring adults at school.  Teach them that these people are their allies; that it’s okay to go to them if they need help or advice.

In this day and age, more schools are striving to provide children with a place they can feel comfortable in coming to in times of trouble at home.  Children need to feel that there are adults who will stand between them and whatever is threatening or unsafe.  More and more, school personnel are fulfilling this role.

For younger children:

• Sometimes it’s hard not to compare siblings; but it’s important, from the very beginning, to focus on what’s special about each individual child.
• No one thinks twice about girls being “tomboys”.  Generally, in our culture, girls have more freedom to explore who they are.  It’s important to be sensitive to boys, and to let them have the same freedom to grow into who they will become.
• Looks are important, no one can argue that; but looks aren’t the most important.  Make sure to focus on a child’s personality.  Remember, it’s a work in progress that needs to be shaped and encouraged.
• If your child enjoys an activity—make that the center of attention. It doesn’t matter so much that the picture hanging on the fridge isn’t a masterpiece.  The important thing is that you hung it there!

For older kids:

• Have positive and honest conversations about changes taking place in their bodies.  Celebrate puberty—it’s a major, major change for your child!
• Let your kids know that you’re proud of them, that you enjoy having them around.
• Remember–to a teen, acne can be a major disaster.  It’s just a part of growing up, but don’t overlook their devastation.  Help them deal with it, whether it’s promoting a good face washing regimen, or seeking help from a dermatologist. 
• Let your child know that you think he, or she, is special, and why.  Your child might not know how much you love him or her, or that that love is unconditional, or that you’ll always be there for them, if you don’t tell them.

Based on the Search Institutes 40 Developmental Assets. Find out more at www.search-institute.org.  Written by Diane Rumer for Kenton County Alliance, 859-760-2051.

“As a parent, you are one of the most important persons in a child’s life, especially when it comes to cigarettes.  You can make a big difference in the choices your kids make.

• If you smoke, quit.  If you can’t quit, keep trying.  Children from families who smoke are twice as likely to become smokers themselves — but parents who try to quit and talk to their kids about the how addictive smoking is, why they want to quit, and how important it is to never start can beat those odds.
• Maintain a totally smoke-free home (even if you smoke).
• Educate your child about the dangers of cigarette smoking.
  • Talk about addiction and how hard it is to quit smoking.
  • Emphasize the immediate health effects.
  • Emphasize the effects of smoking on physical appearance.
• Listen to what your child says and does about smoking and encourage your child when he/she makes good choices.
• Ask your child about his/her friends and their attitudes toward smoking.  Discuss peer pressure and how to deal with it effectively.
• Clear up any misunderstandings your child might have about smoking.  For example: everybody is not doing it; getting hooked can happen very quickly, and quitting is very difficult.
• Make sure your kids’ schools have strong and well-enforced no-smoking rules for kids and staff.
• Support federal, state, and local tobacco-prevention efforts.”

Find out more at www.tobaccofreekids.org or contacting Kenton County Alliance at 859-760-2051.

 For younger children:

• Encourage your child to help pick out appropriate clothing for outings.  Talk with your child about where they’re going and what they’re going to do. 
• Talk about what’s going on tomorrow.  Even everyday tasks require some planning.
• Children love to pick out their own clothes.  Too many options can be overwhelming.  A good way is to limit choices to two or three outfits.
• Remember, if you ask a child to make a choice, you have to be ready to accept what they choose.    Choose your words carefully; for example, instead of asking “Do you want to take a bath tonight?” say “It’s bath time, which toy would you like to play with in the tub?”
• Let your child help with grocery lists, packing for trips, or meal planning.  All of these will give your child a sense of being part of “the plans.”

 For older kids:

• Offer to help your kids set up a “timeline” so that long term school projects get turned in on time.  Show them that meeting deadlines sometimes requires “planning backwards.”
• Ask “what if” questions, when planning for an upcoming event.  This will help kids not only think about what needs to be done, but also identify consequences and possibilities that may result from their decisions.
• Encourage participation in long term projects, at school or in the community.  These usually require planning and coordination.
• Let the kids have a turn at being in charge.  (Scary, I know!)  Give them a turn at planning a family event or party.  Be sure they know what’s involved (guest list, budget, food and decorations), offer your help, then step back.  Even if it’s just completely taking charge of a family dinner, they’ll learn more from actually doing it than from you telling them how to do it. 
• Provide your child with a daily planner and calendar.  This way, they can keep track of homework assignments, tests, and after school activities.

 Written by Diane Rumer for Kenton County Alliance, 859-760-2051.

Kenton County Alliance hopes you’ll take time to visit the following websites.  We know you’re busy, that’s why we’ve done the research for you; and these offer help of another kind—good tips and advice for parents on Parenting.  Sit back, relax, recharge. 

 http://www.drugfree.org/teenbrain/  

What’s normal

What’s not

Lots of examples of difficult behavior

How to’s

http://www.helpthemknow.com/

Contains info for parents, mentors and professionals

http://www.theantidrug.com/ei/

How to detect drug use

How to talk to your children

Advice for parents

Other parents’ stories

http://casafamilyday.org/familyday/

Go to Tools You Can Use for parent tips

http://bblocks.samhs.gov/family/default.aspx

for families with smaller children

 http://www.ehow.com/how_2109831_parent-difficult-child.html

http://www.howtodothings.com/family-and-relationships/a2229-how-to-parent-a-child-with-adhd.html

 For more information, contact Kenton County Alliance—859-760-2051

“Bringing the pieces together for a drug-free community”

 By Diane Rumer for Kenton County Alliance.

 For more information or to participate in prevention of underage drinking campaigns contact Kenton County Alliance at 859-760-2051. 

“Bringing the pieces together for a drug-free community”

Written by Diane Rumer for Kenton County Alliance.

 For younger children:

• Watch what they watch.  If you’re not comfortable with what’s on the screen, turn it off or choose a different option.
• Make something together—such as play dough, muffins, or placemats. 
• Allow for downtime.  Children need unscheduled time when nothing is expected of them.
• As much as possible, keep young children off the internet and limit computer use. They’ll pick up plenty of skills at school—no need for a “head start.”
• If possible, stagger work times with your parenting partner to lessen time in day care.  Even in great daycares, children wear out, and need time at home with Mom and Dad.

 For older kids:

• Focus on constructive time at home.  Set aside one night a week for family time—play games, form a book club, make dinner together, or go for a walk.
• Limit time glued to the TV or computer (electronic games, too!).  Most kids would choose to be active if not for the “screen.”
• Plan media-free time at home—play games, listen to music, go on an outing, plan an activity you can all enjoy.
• Keep mealtimes as “connecting times.” Eat together at the table, and turn off the TV!
• Encourage teens to try to get involved in activities instead of just “hanging out.”

 Written by Diane Rumer for Kenton County Alliance, 859-760-2051.

1. Be Prepared.  Let them know what is expected.  Set ground rules.  Make sure the consequences are spelled out.
2. Check in often.  They have cell phones—make sure their number is on speed dial!  Ask what they’re doing, where they are.  Remind them of the rules and consequences.  Make answering the phone one of the rules.
3. Remind them to make good decisions.  It all boils down to this.  Reinforce that all decisions have consequences—some very long range.

Stay in touch.  If you can always reach them, and they can reach you, then there’s a much better chance that times away from home will be good times—for both of you.

Written by Diane Rumer for Kenton County Alliance – 859-760-2051

“Bringing the pieces together for a drug-free community”

 Many factors contribute to addiction, but the most significant one is the brain chemistry changes that occur. This is what leads to loss of control over use, the hallmark of addiction. Once the addiction happens, it progressively destroys lives. Addiction causes a complete change in the person and their whole being. The addiction of a loved one is devastating for the family as well. The issues that come with addiction leave a trail of pain and loss for the addicted person and their family that can have lifelong implications.

 People get into recovery several ways, but quite often it takes some type of intervention. The denial of the problem is significant. Rarely does the person with addiction spontaneously decide to get help. Taking steps in the direction of intervention can go a long way in helping the addicted person begin the walk of recovery.

 Recovery requires humble courage.  When a person with addiction begins to experience a restored life, grief emerges over all that was lost due to the consequences of use. The other side of grief brings a new awareness of life’s possibilities, as the person grows into a healthier lifestyle. A recovering lifestyle has ups and downs. With consistent recovery work, the person can begin to grasp what it means to live drug free again and heal from the effects of their addiction. The family can begin to heal, too, if they become just as committed to recovery.

 One of the most exciting parts of recovery is the rebuilding of trust within the family.  Things become hopeful again to a small child who tells a recovering parent, “I like being with you now, because your breath doesn’t smell bad anymore.” Relationship change begins to happen when a teenager tells a recovering parent, “I trust talking to you, because you are not high and unpredictable anymore.” Marriage has a chance for renewal, when a spouse says, “I enjoy being married to you again.”

 Yes, recovery is a walk in humble courage, but a restored life is something to get excited about. A restored family is something to add to the gratitude list. And, let’s not forget the contributions that a person recovering from addiction can make in this world. The possibilities of a recovering life are endless. Every day is a new day.

Those words mean a lot to a person in recovery.

 For more information on how to begin recovery contact your primary care physician or
Mental Health America of Northern Kentucky at mhanky@mhanky.org or call 859-431-1077.

 Written by Debbie Gilbert, L.P.C.C. and C.A.D.C for Kenton County Alliance, a substance abuse prevention coalition.  Find out how you can be a part of prevention by calling 859-760-2051.

Easy to acquire, and with the “how-to’s” readily available, this “cheap high” is exacting a high price—brain damage, organ damage, death. 

 Inhalants are the drug of choice of middle school children.  So why would you need to worry if you have or care for babies and toddlers?  Children learn from other children and from TV and videos.  Parents and caregivers cannot control every message a child receives. It’s never too early to begin teaching good habits and being a good role model.

 Start at an early age to TEACH:

1. Talk to your children.  Stress the dangers of inhaling, breathing or even smelling toxic substances.  Most kids don’t understand that inhaling is as dangerous as swallowing or injecting drugs.  Little ones can be taught that a healthy mind and body need clean, fresh air.
2. Educate.  Do your children know how to read labels?  Can they follow directions?  Can they recognize poisons?  Little ones can be taught what is safe and what is not.
3. Assume nothing.  Peer pressure is a strong persuader.
4. Care deeply. Get information.  Get involved.  Become an advocate for your child.  Ask that teachers and caregivers use safe, non-toxic, low odor products whenever possible.
5. Help!  Know the signs and symptoms of Inhalant Abuse.  Know what to do if your child has abused.  You can save a life, and that life may be your child’s!

For more information you can contact Kenton County Alliance at 859-760-2051 or www.kentoncountyalliance.org

Or try the following websites:

www.inhalants.org

http://www.helpthemknow.com

http://www.theantidrug.com/drug_info/

Written by Diane Rumer for Kenton County Alliance.